We don’t think of ourselves as incredibly adventurous. We’ve never scaled precipitous cliffs. I know I’ve never abseiled or jumped off anything higher than the kitchen table, in fact last year I found myself unable to cross a swing bridge over a gorge. But like many middle-class-ish Westerners we do like to feel like we’re having an adventure.
Uprooting ourselves entirely and moving to another country definitely qualifies. It’s something we’ve been contemplating for nearly two years, and there is most definitely a sense of danger and even some fear of the unknown. How will it all turn out? We don’t know, and that’s pretty exciting.
When we talk to others about our plans however (yes, we do that quite a bit because we’re a little bit focused on our imminent migration) the responses we get aren’t quite so excited. We’ve had the whole range of comments, from “you’ll never go” right through to “we’ll start shooting down all the New Zealand-bound planes so you can’t leave”. Far from being a terrorist threat, the latter was a genuine expression of regret from a friend who really doesn’t want us to leave. I get that, and I know that there will come a time when we’re saying goodbye to everyone and everything and there’ll be that terrible sense of loss. It’ll pass though, and the excitement will rise to the surface again.
I wish that everyone saw this move as positively as we do. I think some people are annoyed that we’re changing the status quo, that we’re stepping outside of their expectations; I’m not worried about them. It’s the people we’ve laughed with and talked about our lives and dreams with that I really want to get on board. This is an opportunity, not just for us but for everyone who cares about us. Like it or not, we’re sharing this journey with every one of those people. Some of them will come and visit, others will stay in touch via email and Facebook.The Internet changed the shape of our world; we’re embracing that and capitalising on it. Once upon a time a couple like us would have had their entire circle of friends within walking distance. The car enlarged the radius of the social circle dramatically. Now the Internet means that our friends can be anyone we communicate with, anywhere in the world.
I think enduring friendship in the Internet age depends on a lot of factors, but one element is particularly important: the ability to connect intimately over long distances. It’s not just the capacity to write informative status updates, it’s also that X-factor of being able to express emotions in plain text. I mean real emotions. Emoticons and LOLs are fine for transient relationships, but deep and enduring friendships require empathy … and not everyone has the capacity to write what they’re thinking and feeling well enough to generate empathy across the cold wires of the Web.
Ultimately we have to get beyond what everyone else thinks of our move. We can’t guess the future, can’t worry about whether individual friendships will endure. Our next adventure is starting, and we hope to have old friends to share it with as well as new friends to be a part of it.
Today’s milestones: We appointed our NZ accountants, and in a few weeks we’re going to have a Skype conference where they’ll brief us on the tax system, on company creation and other business-related issues. Meanwhile, we received confirmation that Lee’s contract will end in a month or so … hence the job search is on for real.